I know you have been there before. The chaos of moving. The packing up your belongings, the achy muscles, the unexpected curveballs, and the tension of feeling excited and uncertain. We have all been there at some point in our lives. Some of us feel it for the first time when we go off to college, or when our parents get a job transfer, or even when we have to downsize or get to upgrade our homes. If you are part of a military family or in the ministry, you have most likely moved a number of times and these feelings may be old hat.
How about for kids? for as difficult as moving can be on us as adults, it is far more difficult on kids. Their whole lives get turned upside down, and if there is a big move across the country, or even across the city, it can be very difficult for little ones to manage the emotions, the feelings of instability, and make sense of their changing world.
I am no expert on kids and their emotional needs, but having three boys has been a great education for me and I am still learning so much. Particularly on what is going on inside of them. What is happening in their hearts, what are they thinking, and how is it all impacting them in their lives.
In this crazy move and perpetual life in the RV, our kids have been all over the place. From excitement and elation of exploring new places and discovering new things, to sadness over their missed friends and things that are familiar.
Emerson, our 2-year old, keeps asking to go to Ashley’s and play. Ashley was his daycare worker who made his world so exciting each day and let him be a ‘big boy’ and go to school like his big brothers.
Isaiah, our almost 5-year old, keeps asking for quiet time. Most afternoons on the weekend we did quiet time for the older boys while Emerson took a nap. Isaiah loved this time because he would go into his room, cuddle under his covers with his tablet, and watch a show or movie that he wanted to watch. He didn’t have to agree with anyone else on what to watch or get anyone’s feedback, he just chose what he wanted and watched it. If he wanted to watch Muppet Babies over and over every quiet time, he could. It was up to him. He misses that.
Then there is Aiden. Being 7, he is able to communicate a little more directly and clearly. Several times he has told us, “We shouldn’t have moved.” Now, he has also said many times how much he loves it here, but what he is getting at is that too much is new and different and it is overwhelming for him at times. He misses his friends that he had. Some for most of his 7 years of life.
This is why in the midst of everything, we are trying to keep family traditions, and one of our favorites is apple picking.
Carissa and I started apple picking when we moved to Iowa. Aiden was only 10 months old, we were in a new place that was wonderful in the fall with the beautiful leaves changing and the crisp cool air, and we decided to take little Aiden to the apple orchard. Well, seven years later and we are still doing it. Over the years we have been to some pretty cool orchards, and then there was one that was ‘meh’.
We have added kids over the years and even had a year with a baby bump (Isaiah was born two months later). Some years were pretty warm (yet I still wore my flannel), and other years were crisp and cool. One year I gashed my leg trying to climb into the hayrack ride but tried to play it off and be macho until it started to bleed through my pants. Then I whined like a baby.
Every year we were guaranteed to laugh, have fun, eat apples, walk a long way, and get some cider and donuts. So, as are trying to get our legs under us here in Virginia Beach, we wanted to make sure we kept the tradition alive and visited the apple orchard together as a family.
The orchard was pretty flat and compact, so we didn’t have to walk as far as we normally have had to. The orchard had a couple of apple types we could pick, so we didn’t get the variety we are used to getting, but the apples were wonderful and well kept.
Not only that, they had a wonderful ‘playground’ for the kids to slide slides, drive tractors, and even go through a small corn maze they had built. The boys had a blast. It was hot and, as you can see in the pictures, we were all a little sunkissed by the end. Of course, we got cider and apple donuts in the end that everyone loved (well, mostly…cider was more like apple juice) and drove off to get some lunch with smiles, sweets, and satisfaction of a good day.
Most of all, it was a reminder for all of us that even though things are new and crazy and sometimes really hard, we are together. As a family, we will get through this together. And that is what family traditions should do. They should provide the family with stability in the midst of chaos. Traditions are the eye in the storm where you find peace and rest.
19th Century Austrian composer Gustav Mahler is credited with saying, “Tradition is not the worship of ashes, but the preservation of fire.”
Well, our family traditions capture what makes us who we are. Not as individuals, but as a collection of people who deeply love one another, stand by each other, and rely upon the others for hope and stability. Traditions are a reminder that we are Us, and Us can face anything that comes our way. Not because of our strength or wit or cunning, but because God placed us together and in his sovereignty, he trusted in our ability to see his dreams for our family become a reality.
In the months to come, we will enjoy a few more family traditions. Whether we are in the RV or in a home, we will be enjoying the journey together and keeping who we are going.
Next up…the Pumpkin Patch!!!
